Love, love, love

Having gone through high school believing to have a sign around my head that was exclusively visible to the male species which read something like “stay away”, I always thought ‘relationships’ were for other people. Until recently. I have since come to realise that the sign I actually reads “Men only, no boys.” I’m quite glad about this one. Who wants to waste their time playing mum? They have their own mothers to look after them, why would they want another one? Additionally, I have realised the pleasure of being led. A man will lead, and so if I want a man, I in turn must be a woman. Pure- as God created her, a help meet, an Ebenezer, beautiful, strong, lovely but willing to be led. Not to take the lead, but to trust the man that his decisions will be the right ones- despite what I may think. (But to have the right discernment to woo a certain way).

In light of all this I have come to grips with the idea that it is okay to want a romantic relationship – as long as my worth is still grounded in God. God is still the one where my value lies, only that a man will be there to share life with in the physical. Marriage in turn is a picture, an image pf Christ and the church, of the unity the Godhead share. Of course no marriage is perfect as the aforementioned relationships are, but it is a picture of what can be. Thus, no romantic relationship should be persued without the goal of marriage.

Often I have found myself to be married to someone in my heart- another trap/vice we woman need to watch out for. “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life.” And this all too often has ended in disappointment, hurt and self doubt. Understandably then this precept of romantic relationships being for marriage poses many questions. For instance: why get married? What would be the point? Well, truth be told, marriage is a covenant, a promise, a commitment between a man, a woman and God to one another. It is an institution, a bond between these three parties. Naturally then, if one does not believe in God, or if one deliberately does not follow God; there is no point to marriage, for if one party is excluded from the covenant, the institution cannot exist.

Furthermore, dating for the sake of dating only leads to hearts being broken. Compromising situations. Hurtful decisions. With consequences. Why not commit to someone to do life with? This in mind then, what does one look for when getting to know others for the purpose of a life partner?

We live in a society where people get married because they ‘love’ each other. Believe it or not, all cultures do not exist this way, Arranged marriages are still widely accepted and practised around the world, but I will accept that ours is a culture of a love marriage. Although this notion is a relatively new one. So- what is love?

Hollywood would have us believe that love is at first sight, a feeling, love hearts, puppy dogs and sex. It is alarming how many couples share this most intimate exchange on their first date on the screen. Considering this act was reserved for the marriage, as it acts as the seal/glue between man and wife. The music industry tell us of hearts broken, or rollercoasters. Basically- this thing called love is reduced to a feeling. But can something so great as love really be summed up in something as fickle as a feeling? Somehow I find it difficult to think that Jesus would of stayed on that cross for feelings. Sure they may have played a part- but surely the thing that we all crave- summed up in love are not just feelings. Can a lifetime commitment be based on feelings? I would like to suggest that perhaps love is something much more. Love cannot be quenched by the hottest flames or quelled by the fiercest storm. Just something to consider... some food for thought...

Grippage

Girly times are special. There is nothing like, when a bunch of girls get together and just hang :)
Right now my tummy is all rumbly (its a bit hungry) but also because I think I'm more aware of my desire to be thought of as pretty, or beautiful. And, to be honest, I have been searching for that affection, or recognition from the wrong sources. And how stupid am I? I know this! Yet I go back to doing the same thing. Tsk, tsk.

Thank you Jesus that you love me and accept me, just as I am, not as I should be.
And as your child, you take hold of me
I see just why, I've fallen in love with you.
(Not my own words there.. but totals mean it!)

May I be more and more in love with you. May I know that my worth stems from you, and not what others say I am, or what I may think others believe me to be. May I know that it is what YOU think of me that is important. Thank you Lord Jesus. Bless you and Praise your name :)

Dinner time...

retrospective future

University. As a fresh year- I came with all of these expectations of a magical time and a whole new world. And in many ways it has truly been so. Lets just say it now- and be totally honest- the academic world is weird. It's a world that is so caught up in its own interests that I doubt whether it has any connection to the everyday world. However, this is not to say that I am not enjoying it. Of course I am enjoying it!

I have met several wonderful and fun people and several- not so. But all have the same goal, and are put here for a reason and purpose.

It bewilders me how much knowledge there is out there. If you just start to look, how much you will find and then strangely enough- the more you know the more questions arise and you realise how much more there is to know. It's quite wonderful really, and perhaps the reason why academics are so strange. They have caught the knowledge bug.

Over the last several months, as I have adjusted to University life, and to a whole new city, I marvel at how God has worked. Where He has brought me. Who He has caused me to meet. Upon reflection I can honestly conclude that some of my life's best friends will come from my experiences now. And perhaps my deepest passions will be birthed here. Perhaps my fantasies of university have not waned as much as I thought, perhaps they were fulfilled in some way.

I hope that dreams will find a place in our society again. Where, we wont be afraid to dream or to hope. Where we wont be afraid to voice our desires. Where we will have a society again, who expect their dreams to turn to reality, who strive to achieve their vision.

Perhaps it will have to start with me. Where else right? So- may I start here and publicly declare that I (by the grace of God) will live in the vision He has granted me. May we be people who live in the victory! For we are more than conquerors! And let us truly believe it!

Wills

Really it is with not much purpose that I sit here and write today. Yes it is twenty10, and halfway through February, yet, if asked what I have done with my time, I will be left at a loss of words and a less than adequate answer. The truth is, that I cannot really say what I have done with this time that I have been blessed with. Produced some handiwork- perhaps a painting or a craft? No. Travelled somewhere, discovered some unknown land? No. Been entertained to your hearts delight, so that you laugh until your stomach hurts? No. Visited people? Yes!

How humbling it always is when people invite you over to their homes. Like whoa- me? Are you sure? For to invite someone to your home is to allow them to see into your world. It is for them to catch a glimpse of you outside of the norm of hustle and bustle. So what a privilege and a blessing that has been. And whilst I may not have done all too much with the year twenty10 thus far- I am content in knowing that I have been blessed far beyond what I thought I would be (through the hospitality of others) and remain holding onto the thin fragment of hope that perhaps I too may have been a blessing.

I certainly hope and pray that I am a blessing to those that I meet. Either that or be a stench in some one's nostrils (yuck)- either hot or cold. Never lukewarm. No may I never be a lukewarm or apathetic person. Rather may I be interested versus interesting. And may I love as Christ has loved me! After all- am I not a child of the living God? If His DNA is in me, and He was able to love to the point of death, then surely I too can make some sacrifices.

That is such a big word and so contradictory to our western way of thinking. Sacrifices. Sacrifices. In the worldly way of thinking I suppose that word has an ominous connotation and invokes images of bloodshed and little cute lambs being cut up. But that is not what I'm talking about now. I'm talkin about doing not what my flesh would like to do- ignoring my own needs and desires, because really, who are we to place oursleves on pedstools as if we were King or Queen?- and doing instead what others would like to do, like helping dad shovel dirt instead of watching my favourite program on TV, or doing instead what the Holy Spirit (God) would like to do. that one admittedly is probably the hardest one of the lot. Because well, first you need to know what it is He would like to do and that means listening to His voice, which of course means knowing His voice, and how can you know His voice with out spending time with Him? And so you see to do God's will is the task of our lives as it will probably take all of our life to get that sorted- but I believe that it is perhaps the most rewarding thing that we could do! To do His will- to sacrifice ourselves not because we have to, or need to, but because we want to. Notice the difference? And I think that we would want to offer our lives to God once we start to love Him and thus spend time with Him. So it all works out so perfectly you see?

Loving God means we spend time with Him
As we spend time with Him we get to know His voice.
Knowing His voice we are able to deiscern His will
And we will do His will because we love God!

Thank you Jesus that you love us despite our own shortcomings and selfish desires. May you have your will in my life. I praise you and bless your name. Be exhalted o God, o mighty King. Teach me to know your voice. Teach me how to do what you want me to do. Increase the love I have for you, so that it will overflow and touch others in a way that only you could orchestrate. Thank you that you hear my prayers. Blessed be your name.
Amen