Die laaste twee weke is 'n bietjie van' n brand! Ek moes by die huis kom vanaand en net slaap.
Ek is mal uitgehang met mense, ek is lief om mense te leer ken, maar ek is meer en meer vind dat dit nie die voorreg dat ek een keer om dit te wees. O Heer! Dat my hart kan tender aan U wil.
Hoe vreemd dit is dat die moegheid, of moegheid so 'n hindernis kan wees. Maar dan, wanneer ek voel soos ek besef hoe geseënd ek het so 'n ongelooflike mense rondom my om pret te hê met my lewe te deel met is.
Indien slegs dat ek nie neem dit as vanselfsprekend aanvaar, selfs al dikwels Ek wens in my grot om weg te steek en nie om die dag in die gesig staar. Maar hier is die uitdaging. Het mense weet dat ek hulle waardeer? Hoe sou ek my waardering oor die deel met hulle gaan? Miskien is 'n begin sou wees om te kyk na myself, selfs al het ek voel moeg, en in gesprek te betrek, ten spyte van wat my brein is stadig en my innerlike wese wil net alleen gelaat moet word. Miskien kan ek 'n meer vrygewige persoon word. As ek net nie so baie dat my Huisgenoten gebruik my goed-miskien as ek net 'n bietjie ontspan gedagte, die vrylating van die sfinkter en net laat wees ... mhmm ..
Ek is nie in die klagte. Ek is net ongelooflik geseën en wil te ontvang en ook om dit te deel, om erkenning te gee aan diegene wat my seën. Laat my nie skuldig te laat ander voel geïsoleerd. Maar eerder, kan diegene wat saam met my in aanraking kom, weet hulle die moeite werd, weet dat hulle is kosbaar en voel verlig en aangemoedig. Mhmm .. whoa, wat is 'n moeilike taak. Ek dink dit alles begin met my doelbewuste keuse en pogings verder te kyk as my eie wêreld en om te waag om iets te sien in die anders ...
Friday, July 29
challenge!
The latter two weeks have been a bit of a blaze! I had to come home tonight and just sleep.
I love hanging out with people, I love getting to know people, but I'm increasingly finding that this is not the privilege that I once found it to be. O Lord! That my heart may be tender to Your will.
How strange it is that fatigue, or tiredness can be such an impediment. But then, when I feel like this I realise how blessed I am to have such amazing people surround me to have fun with and share my life with.
If only that I not take them for granted, even though often I wish to hide in my cave and not have to face the day. But here is the challenge. Do people know that I appreciate them? How would I go about sharing with them my appreciation? Perhaps a start would be to look beyond myself, even though I feel tired, and to engage in conversation, despite that my brain is slow and my inner being just wants to be left alone. Perhaps I could be a more generous person. If only I did not mind so much that my flatmates use my stuff- perhaps if I just relaxed a little, release the sphincter and just let be... mhmm..
I am not in complaint. I am just incredibly blessed and wish to recieve that and also to share it, to acknowledge those who bless me. Let me not be guilty of letting others feel underappreciated. But rather, may those who come into contact with me know their worth, know that they are precious and feel enlightened and encouraged. Mhmm.. whoa that is a difficult task. I guess it all starts with my deliberate choice and attempts to look beyond my own world and to dare to see into anothers...
I love hanging out with people, I love getting to know people, but I'm increasingly finding that this is not the privilege that I once found it to be. O Lord! That my heart may be tender to Your will.
How strange it is that fatigue, or tiredness can be such an impediment. But then, when I feel like this I realise how blessed I am to have such amazing people surround me to have fun with and share my life with.
If only that I not take them for granted, even though often I wish to hide in my cave and not have to face the day. But here is the challenge. Do people know that I appreciate them? How would I go about sharing with them my appreciation? Perhaps a start would be to look beyond myself, even though I feel tired, and to engage in conversation, despite that my brain is slow and my inner being just wants to be left alone. Perhaps I could be a more generous person. If only I did not mind so much that my flatmates use my stuff- perhaps if I just relaxed a little, release the sphincter and just let be... mhmm..
I am not in complaint. I am just incredibly blessed and wish to recieve that and also to share it, to acknowledge those who bless me. Let me not be guilty of letting others feel underappreciated. But rather, may those who come into contact with me know their worth, know that they are precious and feel enlightened and encouraged. Mhmm.. whoa that is a difficult task. I guess it all starts with my deliberate choice and attempts to look beyond my own world and to dare to see into anothers...
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