wow

Has it really been that long since I have contributed to this page? And so much has happened too!
Ultimately- despite the challenges, for it has been challenging, I can just say that the Lord God- Jesus Christ is GOOD and takes care of me.

that girl

wants to be that girl who the boys want to kiss
wants to dance in the firelight on the sand
in the waves under the night sky
wants to be that girl that laughs from her soul
who invites others to share life with her
wants to be the girl who is not afraid to love
wants to be the girl who is loved

Be Blessed and Relax

I am so blessed. The Lord Jesus has provided me so much this week. Friends have visited me, and shared their lives with me. I have been blessed not only materially, but also with their friendship. What a privilege it is to see into the lives of others. It contains an element of trust. That they would trust me to share with me what is going on in their lives is such a privilege which I do not deserve. I only pray and hope that I would honor their trust, and love them just the same.
Monday I bought a car. It's kind of ironic that as a student I live in one of the nicest areas of the country and then on top of this I have also been provided with the means to buy a car. One that would hopefully last me for a long while yet. Thank you Jesus. I pray that I would be responsible with this car, and use it to the Lord's glory. Maybe it can be used often for carpools? I know that God has a plan for it :)
Last night friends came to visit from not where I live... and we watched the Lion King at the cinemas.. it was so much fun! Even though it is animated, it spoke to me spiritually.. Scar is like satan, telling lies so as to disempower us and to make us afraid-- if we believe the lies! Which lies am I believing? What truths do I need to tell myself?
And then when Simba rose to the challenge and took pride rock, as was his responsibility, it just sent shivers down my spine. There is something attractive about strength, and I guess.. manliness.. Ha hA!! But it was also a moment of glory- of having overcome obstacles and challenges and stepping up into the position which we are destined for. Let that apply to us. That when we step up to live the lives that God has planned for us, into the works, the grace, the authority we will enter into a new purpose. I'm so excited! May we live the lives we were meant to live!!
Blessings

Do Justice, Love Kindness, Walk humbly with oyur God

uitdaging

Die laaste twee weke is 'n bietjie van' n brand! Ek moes by die huis kom vanaand en net slaap.
Ek is mal uitgehang met mense, ek is lief om mense te leer ken, maar ek is meer en meer vind dat dit nie die voorreg dat ek een keer om dit te wees. O Heer! Dat my hart kan tender aan U wil.
Hoe vreemd dit is dat die moegheid, of moegheid so 'n hindernis kan wees. Maar dan, wanneer ek voel soos ek besef hoe geseënd ek het so 'n ongelooflike mense rondom my om pret te hê met my lewe te deel met is.
Indien slegs dat ek nie neem dit as vanselfsprekend aanvaar, selfs al dikwels Ek wens in my grot om weg te steek en nie om die dag in die gesig staar. Maar hier is die uitdaging. Het mense weet dat ek hulle waardeer? Hoe sou ek my waardering oor die deel met hulle gaan? Miskien is 'n begin sou wees om te kyk na myself, selfs al het ek voel moeg, en in gesprek te betrek, ten spyte van wat my brein is stadig en my innerlike wese wil net alleen gelaat moet word. Miskien kan ek 'n meer vrygewige persoon word. As ek net nie so baie dat my Huisgenoten gebruik my goed-miskien as ek net 'n bietjie ontspan gedagte, die vrylating van die sfinkter en net laat wees ... mhmm ..
Ek is nie in die klagte. Ek is net ongelooflik geseën en wil te ontvang en ook om dit te deel, om erkenning te gee aan diegene wat my seën. Laat my nie skuldig te laat ander voel geïsoleerd. Maar eerder, kan diegene wat saam met my in aanraking kom, weet hulle die moeite werd, weet dat hulle is kosbaar en voel verlig en aangemoedig. Mhmm .. whoa, wat is 'n moeilike taak. Ek dink dit alles begin met my doelbewuste keuse en pogings verder te kyk as my eie wêreld en om te waag om iets te sien in die anders ...

challenge!

The latter two weeks have been a bit of a blaze! I had to come home tonight and just sleep.
I love hanging out with people, I love getting to know people, but I'm increasingly finding that this is not the privilege that I once found it to be. O Lord! That my heart may be tender to Your will.
How strange it is that fatigue, or tiredness can be such an impediment. But then, when I feel like this I realise how blessed I am to have such amazing people surround me to have fun with and share my life with.
If only that I not take them for granted, even though often I wish to hide in my cave and not have to face the day. But here is the challenge. Do people know that I appreciate them? How would I go about sharing with them my appreciation? Perhaps a start would be to look beyond myself, even though I feel tired, and to engage in conversation, despite that my brain is slow and my inner being just wants to be left alone. Perhaps I could be a more generous person. If only I did not mind so much that my flatmates use my stuff- perhaps if I just relaxed a little, release the sphincter and just let be... mhmm..
I am not in complaint. I am just incredibly blessed and wish to recieve that and also to share it, to acknowledge those who bless me. Let me not be guilty of letting others feel underappreciated. But rather, may those who come into contact with me know their worth, know that they are precious and feel enlightened and encouraged. Mhmm.. whoa that is a difficult task. I guess it all starts with my deliberate choice and attempts to look beyond my own world and to dare to see into anothers...

Brief

Geagte Vriend,

Ek hoop dat alles goed is met jou, ek mis jou verskriklik. Wens jy was hier .. geheim dit is laat in die nag. Ek haat die nag, dit herinner my net dat jy nie hier en dan, dat ek eensaam. Maar Jesus Christus is my ewige vriend. Hy verstaan ​​ook eensaamheid. Ek hoop dat hy sal voorsien.

Mag jy geseënd wees in alles wat jy doen, as net vir die heerlikheid van onse God en Vader van die Here Jesus Christus.

Baie liefde

Letter

Dear Friend,

I hope all is well with you, i miss you terribly. Wish you were here.. secretly it is late at night. I hate night time, it just reminds me that you're not here and then, that I am lonely. But Jesus Christ is my eternal friend. He too understands loneliness. I hope that he would provide.

May you be blessed in all that you do, if only for the glory of our God and Father of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lots of love

Love, love, love

Having gone through high school believing to have a sign around my head that was exclusively visible to the male species which read something like “stay away”, I always thought ‘relationships’ were for other people. Until recently. I have since come to realise that the sign I actually reads “Men only, no boys.” I’m quite glad about this one. Who wants to waste their time playing mum? They have their own mothers to look after them, why would they want another one? Additionally, I have realised the pleasure of being led. A man will lead, and so if I want a man, I in turn must be a woman. Pure- as God created her, a help meet, an Ebenezer, beautiful, strong, lovely but willing to be led. Not to take the lead, but to trust the man that his decisions will be the right ones- despite what I may think. (But to have the right discernment to woo a certain way).

In light of all this I have come to grips with the idea that it is okay to want a romantic relationship – as long as my worth is still grounded in God. God is still the one where my value lies, only that a man will be there to share life with in the physical. Marriage in turn is a picture, an image pf Christ and the church, of the unity the Godhead share. Of course no marriage is perfect as the aforementioned relationships are, but it is a picture of what can be. Thus, no romantic relationship should be persued without the goal of marriage.

Often I have found myself to be married to someone in my heart- another trap/vice we woman need to watch out for. “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life.” And this all too often has ended in disappointment, hurt and self doubt. Understandably then this precept of romantic relationships being for marriage poses many questions. For instance: why get married? What would be the point? Well, truth be told, marriage is a covenant, a promise, a commitment between a man, a woman and God to one another. It is an institution, a bond between these three parties. Naturally then, if one does not believe in God, or if one deliberately does not follow God; there is no point to marriage, for if one party is excluded from the covenant, the institution cannot exist.

Furthermore, dating for the sake of dating only leads to hearts being broken. Compromising situations. Hurtful decisions. With consequences. Why not commit to someone to do life with? This in mind then, what does one look for when getting to know others for the purpose of a life partner?

We live in a society where people get married because they ‘love’ each other. Believe it or not, all cultures do not exist this way, Arranged marriages are still widely accepted and practised around the world, but I will accept that ours is a culture of a love marriage. Although this notion is a relatively new one. So- what is love?

Hollywood would have us believe that love is at first sight, a feeling, love hearts, puppy dogs and sex. It is alarming how many couples share this most intimate exchange on their first date on the screen. Considering this act was reserved for the marriage, as it acts as the seal/glue between man and wife. The music industry tell us of hearts broken, or rollercoasters. Basically- this thing called love is reduced to a feeling. But can something so great as love really be summed up in something as fickle as a feeling? Somehow I find it difficult to think that Jesus would of stayed on that cross for feelings. Sure they may have played a part- but surely the thing that we all crave- summed up in love are not just feelings. Can a lifetime commitment be based on feelings? I would like to suggest that perhaps love is something much more. Love cannot be quenched by the hottest flames or quelled by the fiercest storm. Just something to consider... some food for thought...

Grippage

Girly times are special. There is nothing like, when a bunch of girls get together and just hang :)
Right now my tummy is all rumbly (its a bit hungry) but also because I think I'm more aware of my desire to be thought of as pretty, or beautiful. And, to be honest, I have been searching for that affection, or recognition from the wrong sources. And how stupid am I? I know this! Yet I go back to doing the same thing. Tsk, tsk.

Thank you Jesus that you love me and accept me, just as I am, not as I should be.
And as your child, you take hold of me
I see just why, I've fallen in love with you.
(Not my own words there.. but totals mean it!)

May I be more and more in love with you. May I know that my worth stems from you, and not what others say I am, or what I may think others believe me to be. May I know that it is what YOU think of me that is important. Thank you Lord Jesus. Bless you and Praise your name :)

Dinner time...

retrospective future

University. As a fresh year- I came with all of these expectations of a magical time and a whole new world. And in many ways it has truly been so. Lets just say it now- and be totally honest- the academic world is weird. It's a world that is so caught up in its own interests that I doubt whether it has any connection to the everyday world. However, this is not to say that I am not enjoying it. Of course I am enjoying it!

I have met several wonderful and fun people and several- not so. But all have the same goal, and are put here for a reason and purpose.

It bewilders me how much knowledge there is out there. If you just start to look, how much you will find and then strangely enough- the more you know the more questions arise and you realise how much more there is to know. It's quite wonderful really, and perhaps the reason why academics are so strange. They have caught the knowledge bug.

Over the last several months, as I have adjusted to University life, and to a whole new city, I marvel at how God has worked. Where He has brought me. Who He has caused me to meet. Upon reflection I can honestly conclude that some of my life's best friends will come from my experiences now. And perhaps my deepest passions will be birthed here. Perhaps my fantasies of university have not waned as much as I thought, perhaps they were fulfilled in some way.

I hope that dreams will find a place in our society again. Where, we wont be afraid to dream or to hope. Where we wont be afraid to voice our desires. Where we will have a society again, who expect their dreams to turn to reality, who strive to achieve their vision.

Perhaps it will have to start with me. Where else right? So- may I start here and publicly declare that I (by the grace of God) will live in the vision He has granted me. May we be people who live in the victory! For we are more than conquerors! And let us truly believe it!

Wills

Really it is with not much purpose that I sit here and write today. Yes it is twenty10, and halfway through February, yet, if asked what I have done with my time, I will be left at a loss of words and a less than adequate answer. The truth is, that I cannot really say what I have done with this time that I have been blessed with. Produced some handiwork- perhaps a painting or a craft? No. Travelled somewhere, discovered some unknown land? No. Been entertained to your hearts delight, so that you laugh until your stomach hurts? No. Visited people? Yes!

How humbling it always is when people invite you over to their homes. Like whoa- me? Are you sure? For to invite someone to your home is to allow them to see into your world. It is for them to catch a glimpse of you outside of the norm of hustle and bustle. So what a privilege and a blessing that has been. And whilst I may not have done all too much with the year twenty10 thus far- I am content in knowing that I have been blessed far beyond what I thought I would be (through the hospitality of others) and remain holding onto the thin fragment of hope that perhaps I too may have been a blessing.

I certainly hope and pray that I am a blessing to those that I meet. Either that or be a stench in some one's nostrils (yuck)- either hot or cold. Never lukewarm. No may I never be a lukewarm or apathetic person. Rather may I be interested versus interesting. And may I love as Christ has loved me! After all- am I not a child of the living God? If His DNA is in me, and He was able to love to the point of death, then surely I too can make some sacrifices.

That is such a big word and so contradictory to our western way of thinking. Sacrifices. Sacrifices. In the worldly way of thinking I suppose that word has an ominous connotation and invokes images of bloodshed and little cute lambs being cut up. But that is not what I'm talking about now. I'm talkin about doing not what my flesh would like to do- ignoring my own needs and desires, because really, who are we to place oursleves on pedstools as if we were King or Queen?- and doing instead what others would like to do, like helping dad shovel dirt instead of watching my favourite program on TV, or doing instead what the Holy Spirit (God) would like to do. that one admittedly is probably the hardest one of the lot. Because well, first you need to know what it is He would like to do and that means listening to His voice, which of course means knowing His voice, and how can you know His voice with out spending time with Him? And so you see to do God's will is the task of our lives as it will probably take all of our life to get that sorted- but I believe that it is perhaps the most rewarding thing that we could do! To do His will- to sacrifice ourselves not because we have to, or need to, but because we want to. Notice the difference? And I think that we would want to offer our lives to God once we start to love Him and thus spend time with Him. So it all works out so perfectly you see?

Loving God means we spend time with Him
As we spend time with Him we get to know His voice.
Knowing His voice we are able to deiscern His will
And we will do His will because we love God!

Thank you Jesus that you love us despite our own shortcomings and selfish desires. May you have your will in my life. I praise you and bless your name. Be exhalted o God, o mighty King. Teach me to know your voice. Teach me how to do what you want me to do. Increase the love I have for you, so that it will overflow and touch others in a way that only you could orchestrate. Thank you that you hear my prayers. Blessed be your name.
Amen

The 'I' in Sin

In the middle of 'sin' is 'I'. This desire to please the self. Selfishness.

Amos 1-2 describes the sins of Israel and its neighbours which God was going to punish:

³ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Damascus,
even for four, I will not turn back my wrath .
Because she threshed Gilead
with sledges having iron teeth,

⁴ I will send fire upon the house of Hazael
that will consume the fortresses of Ben-Hadad.

⁵ I will break down the gate of Damascus;
I will destroy the king who is in ^c]">[c] the Valley of Aven ^d]">[d]
and the one who holds the scepter in Beth Eden.
The people of Aram will go into exile to Kir,"
says the LORD.

⁶ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Gaza,
even for four, I will not turn back my wrath .
Because she took captive whole communities
and sold them to Edom,

⁷ I will send fire upon the walls of Gaza
that will consume her fortresses.

⁸ I will destroy the king ^e]">[e] of Ashdod
and the one who holds the scepter in Ashkelon.
I will turn my hand against Ekron,
till the last of the Philistines is dead,"
says the Sovereign LORD.

⁹ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Tyre,
even for four, I will not turn back my wrath .
Because she sold whole communities of captives to Edom,
disregarding a treaty of brotherhood,

¹⁰ I will send fire upon the walls of Tyre
that will consume her fortresses."

¹¹ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Edom,
even for four, I will not turn back my wrath .
Because he pursued his brother with a sword,
stifling all compassion, ^f]">[f]
because his anger raged continually
and his fury flamed unchecked,

¹² I will send fire upon Teman
that will consume the fortresses of Bozrah."

¹³ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Ammon,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because he ripped open the pregnant women of Gilead
in order to extend his borders,

¹⁴ I will set fire to the walls of Rabbah
that will consume her fortresses
amid war cries on the day of battle,
amid violent winds on a stormy day.

¹⁵ Her king ^g]">[g] will go into exile,
he and his officials together,"
says the LORD.

Amos 2

¹ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Moab,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because he burned, as if to lime,
the bones of Edom's king,

² I will send fire upon Moab
that will consume the fortresses of Kerioth. ^h]">[h]
Moab will go down in great tumult
amid war cries and the blast of the trumpet.

³ I will destroy her ruler
and kill all her officials with him,"
says the LORD.

⁴ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Judah,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because they have rejected the law of the LORD
and have not kept his decrees,
because they have been led astray by false gods, ^i]">[i]
the gods ^j]">[j] their ancestors followed,

⁵ I will send fire upon Judah
that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem."

Judgment on Israel

⁶ This is what the LORD says:
"For three sins of Israel,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
They sell the righteous for silver,
and the needy for a pair of sandals.

⁷ They trample on the heads of the poor
as upon the dust of the ground
and deny justice to the oppressed.
Father and son use the same girl
and so profane my holy name.

⁸ They lie down beside every altar
on garments taken in pledge.
In the house of their god
they drink wine taken as fines.

⁹ "I destroyed the Amorite before them,
though he was tall as the cedars
and strong as the oaks.
I destroyed his fruit above
and his roots below.

¹⁰ "I brought you up out of Egypt,
and I led you forty years in the desert
to give you the land of the Amorites.

¹¹ I also raised up prophets from among your sons
and Nazirites from among your young men.
Is this not true, people of Israel?"
declares the LORD.

¹² "But you made the Nazirites drink wine
and commanded the prophets not to prophesy.

¹³ "Now then, I will crush you
as a cart crushes when loaded with grain.

¹⁴ The swift will not escape,
the strong will not muster their strength,
and the warrior will not save his life.

¹⁵ The archer will not stand his ground,
the fleet-footed soldier will not get away,
and the horseman will not save his life.

¹⁶ Even the bravest warriors
will flee naked on that day,"
declares the LORD.

These sins were: cruelty, oppression, condonment of slavery, stifling compassion, going back on your word, anger, treachery, grudges, intimidation, irreverence, faithlessness, disobedience to God and rebellion. Sound familiar?

Truth is, we still have the same God, who still hates this sin with the same conviction as in Amos's day. We forget that God is holy, and HATES sin just the same today as yesterday. It's time we stop regarding Jesus as Santa, and realise that He is HOLY, RIGHTEOUS and JUST. What he punished back then he will still punish now.

If we look around our world, the same sins are occurring as what God condemned through the prophet Amos. Have you noticed the increase of flooding, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and other natural disasters? I would suggest that it would be of no coincidence that these are happening in the age where slavery, prostitution, lusts and greed abound.

Point is: Sin makes God angry. It hurts and upsets Him, if not saddens Him.

Why? Because it destroys our relationship with Him. It causes death. It creates a world the Creator never intended.

The only solution is for us to REPENT. Turn to Jesus and accept His salvation and grace.

Again I'll say: REPENT.

Joel 2:12-13 says:

¹² "Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."

¹³ Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity."

and similarly in 2 Chronicles 7:14 it says:

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

You see God does not wish destruction on us- hence why Jesus came into the world to forgive us and not to condemn us (John 3:17).

So as we turn to the Lord, let us be a generation that realises God's holiness. Let us be a generation that gives God the praise that he deserves! May we be a generation that realises we are nothing with out Him. May we be the followers He has called us to be.

Baptism

I discovered something today. Something that I'd forgotten that I had. You know the sweetness and the delight when you find a hidden treasure. What was it I found? This blog! Coincidentally, today is the day that I will be baptised!! No- it's of no coincidence what so ever, the Lord planned it and so it shall be. I'm super looking forward to the baptism, but I stress ( I think I say it so much that I will believe it) not for my glory, but all glory be unto the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The following is what I will share with those who will be listening:

"The Lord has always, gently, been guiding me. I remember as a young girl listening to my Ouma talk about Jesus and in those times I knew he was real. Then I remember one night when I was about eight, after I had been particularly horrible to my brother the Spirit convicted me, and that night I repented: I slept on the floor and I asked Jesus for his forgiveness and saving grace.

Jesus is the only way to salvation, He's not just a free ticket into heaven, but He's a person who is intimately in love with me and who journeys with me as we grow in our relationship. Fully man, yet fully God, I will never know the true cost of the shedding of His blood, which paid the wages of my sin- your sin, all so that we may share an eternal life with him.

It's always been in my heart to get baptised, but I never wanted to do it just because everyone else was. I wanted to make sure that it was because I truly loved and desired to follow the living God, the LORD Jesus. But in my procrastination, the Lord kept speaking to me. Last week as I was going for a walk, I witnessed a baptism in this very place, and it served as a reminder... Then on the Tuesday night I had a dream of my self getting baptised and I knew it was what the Lord wanted. So I told the Lord that I will call my youth pastor the next day (as it was really late in the evening.) However, as the next day came along, the cares of the world over took, and I forgot about my promise to God, until my good friend gave me a phone call and shared with me the Bible study he had just been doing- which happened to be on.. surprise? BAPTISM! Click!

I know now that the Lord desires for ALL of his followers to be baptised, in fact in the Bible they got baptised straight after their conversion!

So let this be my public confession that I believe in and I love God, the Father, Son and Spirit, who sent the Son into this world to forgive me of my sin and grant me life.
So to quote Third Day:

"I believe in God the Father
And in Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary.
Suffered under Pontius Pilot
He was crucified and dead and buried.
He descended into hell and on the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven where He sits at God's mighty right hand,
I believe that He is returning.
I believe in the Holy Spirit- who is a person,
One Holy Church, the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins
I believe in the resurrection and I believe in
a life that never ends."

As I enter the waters of baptism, I am buried with Jesus into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, I too may live a new life.

Praise and blessed be the Lord Jesus Christ.

Eric Clapton once asked the heart wrenching question that echoes out what every human being craves- acceptance. He asked "Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven." Its the question that asks whether you value me, would you stick with me during the hard times, will you be my friend.

It is a tragedy that in our time we have the greatest need than ever before to be reassured of our acceptance. Even more alarming is the fact that in the year 2008 we are still battling against discrimination and all the other evils that the world presents. Over 120 million children are employed in hazardous conditions and face physical and psycological harm- child labour and the illegal sex trade is now the world's third largest industry. However, most disturbing is that all these evils can be prevented and yet we still choose to turn a blind eye.

It was Gandhi who said that an eye for an eye will turn the whole world blind, never did any one mention apathy. Apathy, a six letter word that has become the cause for the world's pain and destruction. We in the western world take all our things for granted. We believe that new clothes are a right and food has become an obsession, shame on us if we don't have a car. Never do we consider that there are those that suffer. We dont want to acknowldege that the slave industry still exists, for the sake of our nice Nike shoes, or that children are being crippled from the labour they endure to have a pittance of a meal for the day, so that we in turn may drink coffee. We choose to ignore the cry of the 2.8 million people who will die from aids this year. Never mnd the 3.8 million newly infected people.

It is our own selfishness that causes us to hold this apathy towards people and thus deny them acceptance of any kind. Aids is not the disease that our society needs to fight, but rather it is the apathy within our hearts. We are a new generation that have the opportunity to stand up for a change! When our grandchildren see what our generation did, will they be disgusted by the war in Iraq like we are toward Vietnam? or the Holocaust? Will aids still be the disaster that imposes the developing world. Will there still be a developing world, crippled by the debt that the powerful westerners put on the needy.

Or will our apathy cause our grandchildren to scorn?

We have a choice now to start caring. We have the opportunity to use our lives for the bettering of others'. What will you choose?

Giving Some Back

We all have so much to be thankful for. We are surrounded by people who love us, we have sufficient food to scoff down-heck! the first world is dying from obesity and self inflicted eating disorders, a roof over our heads, we have a top notch education system and frankly no real survival struggles. I think it could be fair to say that we have no real need for anything really. We have all materially that we could ever want or need. Jesus blesses us so graciously. Despite all these amazing privileges, (yes, turning on a shower and getting warm water is a maj. plus) we always want more. We tend to look to our selves and ways that we could improve our own lives, rather than looking to the exterior. Seeing, observing what others are going through. Seeing what others need. We pass the girl eating her lunch by herself to chatter with our own friends. We snob the busker- too afraid to make eye contact just in case they ask for our latte money. We even diss the slow kid to elevate ourselves. Well c'mon people! Because we have been given so much, it is our responsibility, our duty to give some back. To put our gratitude into action (ya know the saying that actions speak louder than words..) To ensure that others can experience as much as we have, be blessed as much as we have been. This means that we stand up for those who are being ripped off in trade; not buying slave trade products, we stand up for the lonely kid;sit beside them and get to know them, hey! even give 'em a smile! This means that we appreciate the busker and their talents and perhaps even sacrifice our latte money, it means that we uplift and encourage those who are weaker than us; pair up with the slow kid and get to know the kid and not the condition. It means praying for the sick and looking after the lonely. It means that we step outside of our lives and step inside the life of another. Let me compare it to a building. The building is our life and we spend all our time making it look splendid. Unfortunately we always compare with others so it is always a vicious competition. All our focus is making this building looking beautiful and pretty soon it has all the luxuries and more that it could possibly ever contain. The walls are splashed with colour till even all the rainbows in the world couldn't compete. But in becoming so absorbed in this one building, the decorators(thats us) forget to explore the rest of the world and the beauty and versatility it has to offer. They forget to look at the crummy houses in the same neighborhood which lower its own capital value. Instead of assisting to lift the delipidated houses beauty they are scorned. This is a lose lose system. Ultimately if we continue to be self seeking we too will be caught in a lose lose situation. Our self absorbancy will lead us to depression, lovelessness etc. because the focus is always on ourselves and what we have and dont have. This is not the way to live. We are all called to a higher purpose, we are all called to a greater calling. A calling to love others and to share what we have, a calling to stand up for the little guy. A calling to spread hope, to give some back!

The Journey

Last week I went with a group of strangers on journey that was Spiritual, Physical, Uplifting, Intense but mostly FUN! This journey required all of me, all my strength to complete the cycling and kyaking and climbing etc.

The experience was amazing! I met people whom I would fully wanna keep hanging with, people who encouraged and helped me along with my walk with the Lord.

Fighter

Its been awhile since I've cried. Last night was the night. After a testimony from a young woman who had been through so much, that all of us go through and are tempted with, I realised that I didn't have what she had. (we always want more.) But she had was a passion for Jesus. Sure I have admitted Jesus into my heart and I believe that He died on the cross for me, yet despite all this my passion has dwindled. The phrase that has stuck with me from last night though is that Jesus is FIGHTING for me. He hasn't given up on me yet. It brought tears to my eyes.

When we live in the world, it is so easy to get caught up in ourselves and in what we need to be doing, that we forget that Jesus is there. I forgot. And after a while it gets hard to differentiate whether he is there, the harder it gets to feel his beautiful presence and thus, it gets hard to be his friend, to be in relationship with him. The entire reason for his terrible death was that we may be n relationship with Him.

I had been feeling empty, just doing, not really living, almost on auto bot mode. Its ridiculous, and sure on the outside it looks good, I'm good at the masquerade. Incognito as a impostor. But what a relief that Jesus is FIGHTING for me. I definitely cant wait to see what Jesus is gonna be up to with me :) I fully wanna love him like with everything, because I know that He will and can give me all of my hearts desires. He is amazing and funny, and loves me so much that words will never be able to describe.

After Gemz testimony she played a clip demonstrating how Jesus fights for us, when we get caught up in the world in life. The clip above is the same one which brought tears to my eyes and which Gemz showed.

It seems to me that others will always lay expectations on others. On the ones that they love most expectations of fallen dreams will be handed over like a heavy burden, which the reciever takes, only too willing to please. To the ones that they loathe, expectations of only the worst await. Like a dark preconditioned force drives the loathing to want and expect the other only to be disappointment and filled with betrayal. Finally, expectations are handed over to ourselves. In the deep conscience an expectation takes root, of success and happiness. It is an expectation which costs the most yet continues drawing deeper and deeper into the heart.

I have tried not to live up to those expectations, but somehow they make us who we are. Your fathers expectation of having the sportiest child in the country makes one strive to be the star hook and captain in the first 11 Rugby team, or captain of the A netball team. Eager to please our afternoons are filled with practises and training. We go through sweat, stinking like a pig, grueling runs, all so that we can be the best. Our mothers expectations of being the class pet, the smartest on the block, DUX, Valedictorian make us strive for excellences in the classroom. As a result we study long hours into the night and before we know it we are labelled 'brainboxes,' but that is okay, because that was what we wanted. Wasn't it?

I have to admit, I am a high achiever, I don't mean to be. I am incredibly clumsy and unco' yet I still participate in sport. I haven't figured out whether I enjoy sport for the thrill and adrenalin rush, or because it has made me popular and skinny. School work comes easily to me, but I have seen others work so much harder than I have. I have seen students put their everything into their study, yet have recieved no recognition for it. I hardly believe that that kind of attitude will encourage and nourish a seeking student. Yet at the same time, if I do not recieve good grades for my work I will be disappointed. With myself, for not trying harder. Funny isnt it? That that is an expectation I have put on myself with out meaning too. Mhmm.

Okay, so all these expectations around us. And we get angry at them if we think aobut them. But, what if there were no expectations? No body believeing that you can be more than what you are. I see people at school who have no belief in themselves. Who do not trust their instincts, who think that they are as good as what they can have or give- in the sexual way. Their parents or caregivers do not attend their prize givings and I barely see them at school functions. Do these kids have any expectations put on them that is nurtured and encouraged? I have my doubts. Expectations are put on us by those that care for us, I guess it is like a sign of affection, which leads me to think that these students, who have no hope in themsleves, who have no expectations put on them have no one to put those on them. That they are not loved. That is a tragedy.

To have expectations is to hope. It can become an obsession which is dangerous. It can blossom into life, as you see a hearts hope fulfilled and it can mold. Expectations are put onto us by others, who love us, who care. Sometimes for selfish reasons, but expectations make us want to prove our worth. Our worht is in Jesus Christ who has the expectations of a wonderful life and relationship for us and with us.

Waiting.. waiting.. waiting..
hoping..hoping.. hoping..
there has to be something more, something exciting
Adventure, danger, intrigue..
when, when when?
When will it come?
I'll have to be brave
Step out, step out
onto the path
that leads up mountains
and down into valleys
Hand over the steering wheel
Travel with a friend
See the world
Breath the culture
Feel the wind
Stroke the many sand dunes
Of Egypt
Swim swim swim
like a mermaid
Dash and dart with the humming bird
Live life
Be free
Be Wild
Be Kind
Be Generous and Compassionate
Be Inviting
Be Captivating.
Be free
Be Wild
Be Kind
Be Generous and Compassionate
Be Inviting
Be Captivating.

Life should be like a musical

"Life should be a musical" was the opening to my speech last week in assembly. Key word: was. Was supposed to be. Rather what happened instead will probably result in myself falling short. But hey, at least I know then that I cannot boast about my own merits.

Last week I had to do a speech in assembly telling the school as to why they should vote for me, in a campaign so that I may be able to go on the Board Of Trustees as the Student Representative. The night before I practiced my speech, had it memorised, I included so puns and had a low key, informal style that I thought that my audience would most appreciate. HOWEVER: during the morning I had not been seen by anybody as to what action to take, so as I was sitting with the rest of the assembly I was totally dismayed to see the other candidates walking up onto stage! Hurriedly I walked to the stage only to be told that I would have to do my speech.. FIRST! Flustered already, all manner and form of preparation I had flew out the window! I was left to rely on stammering and my theater-sports skills of improvisation. Aagh!

At least though I know that if I get the position of student rep. it'll definitely be God's doing, because in NO way on my own merits would I get in. The speech was too faltering, and ill prepared. Afterward campaigning was not successful, if I get in it'll be a miracle. Isn't that just amazing? That I can rest in the peace, that if I don't get this position that it's not a failure as it was simply where God didn't want me :) That is just such good news! Jesus really is Peace. YAY.

And yes, life should be a musical. To burst in spontaneous song where the good guy always wins and love prevails. Life is abit like that though- the Good Guy has won! and His love does prevail!